Hi everyone, I’m Stephen. I’ve been struggling with anxiety and panic disorder for the past 18 months. I’ve become a born again Christian in that time and through this I’ve learnt a lot and I am continuing to learn everyday. Everyday is different and each day has brought new challenges. Recently I’ve been told I have had this since I was younger but its only manifested itself fully now. So here is my journey hoping someone else can relate or find comfort that we all face trials and challenges. I have been struggling with my new found faith and my new disorder. I’ve experienced spiritual attacks, intrusive thoughts, I’ve been as low as you can go in your own mind in such a short space of time. I feel like blogging will help me express my feelings and emotions and aid my healing process. I want to share how God has given me strength when I felt like giving up and that I couldn’t go on. God has been there with me through the highs and lows and I hope I can relate to others facing trials and tough times.

Being raised in a Christian home I knew about God. And Jesus from a young age but growing up as a teen in the naughties (2000 onwards) was tough and I turned my back on church and God as soon as I was old enough to not go. Don’t get be wrong I always believed in God but never really genuinely accepted Jesus Christ as our Lord and Saviour. I drank, took drugs. I didn’t know the Bible well enough and I just thought I was doing what any young man does but now I’ve come to realise the error of my ways that I was selfish and living my life for the me, the Devil had a grip on me and was squeezing tighter, pulling me down into a world and a skin I wasn’t truly happy in.

Now I have found the Lord and accepted him life has been tough, its not easy defeating your old sinful nature but everyday I can see the hope and grace God is giving me and the strength to defeat the vice I was once being held in.

I know I’m not the only one going through this and I can’t say I’m going to teach you anything but I thought sharing my thoughts and experiences I might reach someone or someone might reach out to me.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy and continue to read this blog……

God Bless!


4 Responses to About

  1. Hi Steven,
    From your brief about statement I would wager that the anxiety and panic was made manifest, at least in part, by drug use. Pretty common. Likely it was there all along but drugs can bring these things out. I think it is all good and well to look for guidance and to find a path. As for God we can only accept God as constant, always. When it comes to books, scripture, it is wise to remember who wrote them. Men did. I would put my trust in God, without faith, confidence alone is enough and trust no man who claims God wrote a book. It is wise to remember that the men who claim a book, as the word of God, are usually not the men who wrote the book. Other men make those claims later and wield great influence with their false authority. Have they so little confidence in God that they need faith instead? God does not write books. Did God create you? Then you are the word of God. If you would find your path, where else could you be, you are on it. Look to find the truth in your own self and take the steps to stay true.

    There is much inspiration to be found and scripture is a good place to find it. It is dangerous to see it as the word of God. The written word is not the language of God it is the language of men.

    • The Bible is the word of God .

      • I hope it works for you Steve. Never did for me. Last time I took shelter in the church I needed shelter from my drug addled life, decades ago. Could not drink the tea. It works for some and maybe it will for you. I am very comfortable with my relationship with God. I find that God is indiscriminate. Always there. Any seeker finds God because there is no place you could be except where God is found. That the path is where you are. A simple matter of choice and the way is revealed. God finds and knows all people. Should you remain in your Christian sensibilities remember, God hides from no one. You do not have to be born into western culture and Christianity to know God. Those who know God and are religious bring God with them and do not concern themselves with convincing others that they own God by the written word. If you find God in scripture, wonderful. Others find God without it.

        Blessings, Peace, Love,

      • I understand your where you are coming from. God is with me everywhere but I enjoy the fellowship of church and the praise it’s where we go to learn as well as rejoice. I am glad you have a relationship with God and I hope you continue too. Sometimes you just need to find the right church.

        God Bless you!


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